You are so right about one thing, at least in my case..

I do not understand about being a black woman. But we can sympathize and empathize about being mothers.

I agree that we should, to the degree we have been blessed and worked hard, we should make arrangements for those left behind. Now, to leave a trust fund baby? Not necessarily. That which is not worked for is not always appreciated.

Of course, we shouldn’t want our children to suffer. Surely you are asking this tongue in cheek. You write so lovingly about your dd and your love for her and her abilities. I quite confident she is quite capable of whatever she puts her mind to.

I know in our family, my dad worked hard all his life, most of his adulthood he was self-employed till retirement in 2009. There were many years both my brother and I were not involved in my dad’s business. My dh joined my dad 2 different times as an employee. The last time was in 2000 and has been there ever since. Now we own one of the 2 businesses my dad started so I understand the part about a family business and passing it on.

In my dad’s case he didn’t know for a long time that either of his kids would join him in business. I guess that is where I am coming from …. don’t assume she will want to be a part of it just because you saw it as a ticket to a secure future, as secure as it can be in today’s times. But just because she doesn’t want to be part of it now, if that is the case, doesn’t mean she won’t later, just like finishing college.

Our dd has also been blessed by a business that she has not ever really shown an interest in running. Does that mean I should “force” her into the family business just because it’s there, running and viable? I don’t believe so. If her giftedness is not in the field of self-emploment & running a retail establishment (which is one of our businesses) … to me that is like putting a square peg in a round hole.

However our dd loves children and being with them. She works part-time in a church preschool 5 days a week and loves being with the children. It is hard work in it’s own way and so underappreciated and underpaid.

Our dd is in a different situation than yours. She has congenital physical health issues (not mentally impaired) that make it more difficult to work full time in a physically demanding job like retail. Because of her health we have had to make arrangements so she has some income coming in besides her own via the preschool and the disability she receives. She has a heart condition that usually leads to a shorter life expectancy so we may outlive her. However, we are helping plan her financial future in the event we both preceed her in death.

Dd was not interested in college and we felt it was not a pre-requiste to what she wanted to do, whether she worked with children or in the family business.

I wish your daughter the best and I hope you have some peace soon about her situation.